I didn't bike today. I don't even have a good excuse for it. It's beautiful outside, there was no wind, I wasn't feeling sick, I didn't sleep in. I just wanted a freakin' break. And despite all the other cyclists I saw out there today and all the bike-commuters that have been coming out of the woodwork on campus, I felt absolutely no regret.
Sometimes a person just needs a change. And showing up to work today in a skirt with my hair straightened and wearing my lovely blue fashion coat instead of my black fleece jacket, safety vest, and helmet hair - that's a change. A very, very welcome one.
Besides, I'm sure my aching knee could use a break . . . there we go, excuse found!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Week Twenty-Six - Day Four: Thanks, Brain!
BIKE: Mike
TIME THERE: 27 min.
TIME BACK: 27 min.
WEATHER: A few clouds, -5C, 6 km/hr wind there; clear, 5C, 6 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: warm-up pants, t-shirt, fleece jacket, double gloves (just running gloves on the way home), balaclava (not on the way home)
NOTES:
If you've been following along with this blog over the past little while, you may have noticed that I've been feeling down lately. I don't know exactly what's causing it, I just know that as much as I'm still instigating impromptu dance parties in the halls at work and offending people with my heinous sense of humour, I haven't been quite as happy as usual.
Now, I believe that the little things that get stuck in our heads or the random memories that pop up out of nowhere aren't meaningless. I think they can provide insight or give us something of what we need in times of challenge or difficulty. So when I couldn't get the theme song from The United States of Tara out of my head for the past two days straight, it dawned on me that this is something to pay attention to.
The lyrics are:
Open up the sky
This mess is getting high
It's windy and our family needs a ride
I know we'll be just fine when we learn to love the ride
I know we'll be just fine when we learn to love the ride
I know we'll be just fine when we learn to love the ride
Then, earlier today, after dropping off my bike after the ride home and starting my walk over to pick up my daughter from daycare, I got a flash of a memory I hadn't thought of in a while. It was right after my graduation ceremony for my undergraduate degree, which happened six years ago. I was all dressed up and feeling proud of myself, walking with my family through the university's parking lot towards the car. My Dad was walking in front of the rest of us with my just-framed Bachelor of Fine Arts degree held high in the air above his head with a big smile on his face. Cars honked at him as they passed and someone yelled out, "Congratulations!" to him, and he replied, "It's my daughter's!" He was beaming with pride. I thought he was ridiculous, and wonderful. I felt so loved and appreciated in that moment.
What a random thing to remember out of nowhere. But I think it came up for a reason. Partly, because it's my Dad's birthday today and I might have forgotten if not for that memory (sorry, Dad!!). Also, because I've been feeling kind of hopeless about losing weight - it never comes off as fast or as easily as I wish it would, and this can lead to feeling discouraged. Perhaps some part of me wanted to remind me that the people who love me don't love me for my weight - they love me and are proud of me because of who I am. Even if I stay this weight forever and never drop another pound, I know I am still a lovable person, and my family will always be there for me.
And, really, I just need to learn to love the ride. The weight will go - sometimes painfully slow, sometimes wonderfully fast - just as long as I stick with the biking and trying to eat reasonably. Of course I'm going to want to be at my goal RIGHT NOW, but what can I say? It took years for me to put on this much weight - the least I can do is give it at least a year to work off. And just relax, because I know I'll be just fine . . . if I learn to love the ride.
TIME THERE: 27 min.
TIME BACK: 27 min.
WEATHER: A few clouds, -5C, 6 km/hr wind there; clear, 5C, 6 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: warm-up pants, t-shirt, fleece jacket, double gloves (just running gloves on the way home), balaclava (not on the way home)
NOTES:
If you've been following along with this blog over the past little while, you may have noticed that I've been feeling down lately. I don't know exactly what's causing it, I just know that as much as I'm still instigating impromptu dance parties in the halls at work and offending people with my heinous sense of humour, I haven't been quite as happy as usual.
Now, I believe that the little things that get stuck in our heads or the random memories that pop up out of nowhere aren't meaningless. I think they can provide insight or give us something of what we need in times of challenge or difficulty. So when I couldn't get the theme song from The United States of Tara out of my head for the past two days straight, it dawned on me that this is something to pay attention to.
The lyrics are:
Open up the sky
This mess is getting high
It's windy and our family needs a ride
I know we'll be just fine when we learn to love the ride
I know we'll be just fine when we learn to love the ride
I know we'll be just fine when we learn to love the ride
Then, earlier today, after dropping off my bike after the ride home and starting my walk over to pick up my daughter from daycare, I got a flash of a memory I hadn't thought of in a while. It was right after my graduation ceremony for my undergraduate degree, which happened six years ago. I was all dressed up and feeling proud of myself, walking with my family through the university's parking lot towards the car. My Dad was walking in front of the rest of us with my just-framed Bachelor of Fine Arts degree held high in the air above his head with a big smile on his face. Cars honked at him as they passed and someone yelled out, "Congratulations!" to him, and he replied, "It's my daughter's!" He was beaming with pride. I thought he was ridiculous, and wonderful. I felt so loved and appreciated in that moment.
What a random thing to remember out of nowhere. But I think it came up for a reason. Partly, because it's my Dad's birthday today and I might have forgotten if not for that memory (sorry, Dad!!). Also, because I've been feeling kind of hopeless about losing weight - it never comes off as fast or as easily as I wish it would, and this can lead to feeling discouraged. Perhaps some part of me wanted to remind me that the people who love me don't love me for my weight - they love me and are proud of me because of who I am. Even if I stay this weight forever and never drop another pound, I know I am still a lovable person, and my family will always be there for me.
And, really, I just need to learn to love the ride. The weight will go - sometimes painfully slow, sometimes wonderfully fast - just as long as I stick with the biking and trying to eat reasonably. Of course I'm going to want to be at my goal RIGHT NOW, but what can I say? It took years for me to put on this much weight - the least I can do is give it at least a year to work off. And just relax, because I know I'll be just fine . . . if I learn to love the ride.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Week Twenty-Six - Day Three: Mechanical Problems
BIKE: Mike
TIME THERE: 27 min.
TIME BACK: 26 min. (from a different building on campus than usual)
WEATHER: a few clouds, -9C, 4 km/hr wind there; clear, 3C, 4 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: fleece pants, t-shirt, fleece jacket, double gloves (just running gloves on the way home), balaclava
NOTES:
Can I just say, to the gentlemen of the world: if you are an adult male and I see you cruising the streets on your way to work on a bike, you officially become 3x more attractive to me than if you were a pedestrian or driver (and let's say 5-10x more attractive than if you were driving a truck or Hummer). But I digress . . .
I seem to be having mechanical trouble. Yesterday on the way home from work, the chain started making a horrendous grinding sound that made it sound like it was on the verge of exploding and its remnants catching fire. This heinous sound was loud - pedestrians on the other side of 4-lane major roads were staring at me in horror as I biked past. When I got stopped at a red light, I hopped off the bike and spun the pedals around with my hands while looking at the chain to see if I could spot any abnormalities. I couldn't. So I just got back on the bike and hoped to hell I'd be able to get home without spontaneously combusting. Thankfully, I did get home okay, and after a good brush-down of the whole drive train yesterday evening the bike wasn't complaining today.
Unfortunately, I've been coming up against another mechanical issue - my knee has been getting sore again lately. My right knee is prone to illiotibial band syndrome. It's something that was actually quite debilitating and required physiotherapy during my Master's degree, ending my years-long committed relationship with elliptical machines. This is why I bought a relatively cheap bike for commuting this year - with a bad knee, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to bicycle every day for a year or if I'd try it then have to give up after a month. What's the point of spending over $1000 on a bike if I'd hardly use it? Good thing that hasn't been the case!
The knee pain does worry me, though. I remember I had some mild soreness in that knee at the very beginning of my bike-commuting experiment, but it went away as my thighs got stronger. My legs are stronger than ever now, but the soreness is returning. It's mild, and really not that big a deal, but it's definitely something to keep an eye on. Here's hoping it goes away with some stretching and more conscientious riding technique (i.e., keeping my toes pointed forward on the pedals instead of letting them point in towards the bike as they tend to naturally).
TIME THERE: 27 min.
TIME BACK: 26 min. (from a different building on campus than usual)
WEATHER: a few clouds, -9C, 4 km/hr wind there; clear, 3C, 4 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: fleece pants, t-shirt, fleece jacket, double gloves (just running gloves on the way home), balaclava
NOTES:
Can I just say, to the gentlemen of the world: if you are an adult male and I see you cruising the streets on your way to work on a bike, you officially become 3x more attractive to me than if you were a pedestrian or driver (and let's say 5-10x more attractive than if you were driving a truck or Hummer). But I digress . . .
I seem to be having mechanical trouble. Yesterday on the way home from work, the chain started making a horrendous grinding sound that made it sound like it was on the verge of exploding and its remnants catching fire. This heinous sound was loud - pedestrians on the other side of 4-lane major roads were staring at me in horror as I biked past. When I got stopped at a red light, I hopped off the bike and spun the pedals around with my hands while looking at the chain to see if I could spot any abnormalities. I couldn't. So I just got back on the bike and hoped to hell I'd be able to get home without spontaneously combusting. Thankfully, I did get home okay, and after a good brush-down of the whole drive train yesterday evening the bike wasn't complaining today.
Unfortunately, I've been coming up against another mechanical issue - my knee has been getting sore again lately. My right knee is prone to illiotibial band syndrome. It's something that was actually quite debilitating and required physiotherapy during my Master's degree, ending my years-long committed relationship with elliptical machines. This is why I bought a relatively cheap bike for commuting this year - with a bad knee, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to bicycle every day for a year or if I'd try it then have to give up after a month. What's the point of spending over $1000 on a bike if I'd hardly use it? Good thing that hasn't been the case!
The knee pain does worry me, though. I remember I had some mild soreness in that knee at the very beginning of my bike-commuting experiment, but it went away as my thighs got stronger. My legs are stronger than ever now, but the soreness is returning. It's mild, and really not that big a deal, but it's definitely something to keep an eye on. Here's hoping it goes away with some stretching and more conscientious riding technique (i.e., keeping my toes pointed forward on the pedals instead of letting them point in towards the bike as they tend to naturally).
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Week Twenty-Six - Day Two: Fantasies
BIKE: Mike
TIME THERE: 29 min.
TIME BACK: 28 min.
WEATHER: overcast, -9C (-15C with windchill), 13 km/hr wind there; a few clouds, -5C (-10C with windchill), 13 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: fleece pants, t-shirt, fleece jacket, double gloves, balaclava
NOTES:
Riding into the wind, feeling the burn in my thighs and the strain of heavy breath in my lungs, all I could do was think about summer. I fantasized about riding on clean, wide streets unburdened with patches of ice and gravel or dirt-encrusted snowbanks. I fantasized about taking corners quickly and actually riding full-speed downhill. I thought about riding in a tank top on a bright, sunny morning and feeling the sunlight cascade warmly down my bare arms. How nice a cooling breeze will feel. I will bike fast and feel free and ride in the full sunlight. I will want to ride my bike on the weekends, too, and take my daughter out in the trailer into the river valley for weekend picnics and playdates at the park. It will be magical.
I'm so ready for winter to be done. I want the snow to go away, and the rutty patches of ice to disappear forever. I want to ride without having to breathe through a balaclava. I want to be able to ride with my daughter in the trailer when the side streets melt enough to make for safer riding. I want to be able to wear shorts and a tank top when I ride without feeling self-conscious about things jiggling on my body that really shouldn't jiggle.
Ahh . . . fantasies. Someday they might come true.
TIME THERE: 29 min.
TIME BACK: 28 min.
WEATHER: overcast, -9C (-15C with windchill), 13 km/hr wind there; a few clouds, -5C (-10C with windchill), 13 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: fleece pants, t-shirt, fleece jacket, double gloves, balaclava
NOTES:
Riding into the wind, feeling the burn in my thighs and the strain of heavy breath in my lungs, all I could do was think about summer. I fantasized about riding on clean, wide streets unburdened with patches of ice and gravel or dirt-encrusted snowbanks. I fantasized about taking corners quickly and actually riding full-speed downhill. I thought about riding in a tank top on a bright, sunny morning and feeling the sunlight cascade warmly down my bare arms. How nice a cooling breeze will feel. I will bike fast and feel free and ride in the full sunlight. I will want to ride my bike on the weekends, too, and take my daughter out in the trailer into the river valley for weekend picnics and playdates at the park. It will be magical.
I'm so ready for winter to be done. I want the snow to go away, and the rutty patches of ice to disappear forever. I want to ride without having to breathe through a balaclava. I want to be able to ride with my daughter in the trailer when the side streets melt enough to make for safer riding. I want to be able to wear shorts and a tank top when I ride without feeling self-conscious about things jiggling on my body that really shouldn't jiggle.
Ahh . . . fantasies. Someday they might come true.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Week Twenty-Six - Day One: Weekend at MEC
BIKE: Mike
TIME THERE: 27 min.
TIME BACK: 28 min.
WEATHER: overcast, -8C, 6 km/hr wind there; overcast, -8C, 4 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: fleece pants, t-shirt, fleece jacket, double gloves, balaclava
NOTES:
Over the weekend, I made a trip to MEC to buy some replacement brakes, synthetic lube (the natural lube I've been using so far isn't so great for cold weather, as I just discovered), and a cleaning brush. I also picked up a flexible rear fender that attaches to the bike rack because my original rear fender has been M.I.A. ever since I switched to my studded tires, which are too wide for my original fenders. I would have tried to buy a chain, too, because apparently my chain has stretched with use and could use replacing before it takes out my whole drive train in its death spiral, but I had to leave the store quickly because my daughter was being a pain in the ass. Like, breaking away from me the moment she could and disappearing down different aisles, forcing me to chase her, and when I caught her she would fly into a throw-herself-on-the-floor-screaming tantrum. It was . . . unpleasant. Especially when my hands were full. It was a damn good thing there's a Bernard Callebaut chocolate store across the street, because after that shopping experience I needed a little pick-me-up.
Today the ride was just fine. I wore running shoes instead of my honkin' winter boots for the first time in ages, and it's amazing how much lighter and colder I felt! It made me think of the impending warm weather, and slowly but surely moving from cold-weather riding clothes like fleece pants and winter boots and balaclavas to more spring/summer clothes like yoga pants and sweatshirts and - dare I dream?? - even riding in just a t-shirt. Oh, warm weather, you cannot come soon enough!! Sure, I'm not looking forward to the slushy, messy, slippery rides that will come as the temperature rises, but I desperately look forward to the sun on my skin and putting the studded tires in storage and being able to ride on side streets again.
In the meantime, I'm going to zone out by watching some mindless TV show online (I'm too cheap and superior to actually pay for TV). It cured what ailed me on Friday when I wrote about feeling kind of depressed. I just watched a couple episodes of - don't judge me - The Millionaire Matchmaker - and suddenly my life looked a whole lot brighter. I figured if these supposedly successful people were as ridiculously flawed as they appeared on this show, I must not be doing so badly. And that, my friends, made me feel a whole lot better.
TIME THERE: 27 min.
TIME BACK: 28 min.
WEATHER: overcast, -8C, 6 km/hr wind there; overcast, -8C, 4 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: fleece pants, t-shirt, fleece jacket, double gloves, balaclava
NOTES:
Over the weekend, I made a trip to MEC to buy some replacement brakes, synthetic lube (the natural lube I've been using so far isn't so great for cold weather, as I just discovered), and a cleaning brush. I also picked up a flexible rear fender that attaches to the bike rack because my original rear fender has been M.I.A. ever since I switched to my studded tires, which are too wide for my original fenders. I would have tried to buy a chain, too, because apparently my chain has stretched with use and could use replacing before it takes out my whole drive train in its death spiral, but I had to leave the store quickly because my daughter was being a pain in the ass. Like, breaking away from me the moment she could and disappearing down different aisles, forcing me to chase her, and when I caught her she would fly into a throw-herself-on-the-floor-screaming tantrum. It was . . . unpleasant. Especially when my hands were full. It was a damn good thing there's a Bernard Callebaut chocolate store across the street, because after that shopping experience I needed a little pick-me-up.
Today the ride was just fine. I wore running shoes instead of my honkin' winter boots for the first time in ages, and it's amazing how much lighter and colder I felt! It made me think of the impending warm weather, and slowly but surely moving from cold-weather riding clothes like fleece pants and winter boots and balaclavas to more spring/summer clothes like yoga pants and sweatshirts and - dare I dream?? - even riding in just a t-shirt. Oh, warm weather, you cannot come soon enough!! Sure, I'm not looking forward to the slushy, messy, slippery rides that will come as the temperature rises, but I desperately look forward to the sun on my skin and putting the studded tires in storage and being able to ride on side streets again.
In the meantime, I'm going to zone out by watching some mindless TV show online (I'm too cheap and superior to actually pay for TV). It cured what ailed me on Friday when I wrote about feeling kind of depressed. I just watched a couple episodes of - don't judge me - The Millionaire Matchmaker - and suddenly my life looked a whole lot brighter. I figured if these supposedly successful people were as ridiculously flawed as they appeared on this show, I must not be doing so badly. And that, my friends, made me feel a whole lot better.
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