So, remember how yesterday I commented that Mike (my bike) was heavier and harder to pedal around now that I have accessorized him? Well, I stand by my assertion that he's heavier - that I can tell when I'm carrying him up and down the stairs. However, I just realized it may be a very different reason than the accessories that's causing me more difficulty when pedalling.
It would appear that while I was messing around with the fenders and rack, I was also nudging the back brakes out of alignment. It ended up being fine at the outset of the ride, but the first time I used the brakes, one pad remained in contact with the wheel even after I released the brake, resulting in a decent amount of resistance against the back wheel. Accessories make the bike heavier, a crying baby being towed in the trailer makes the bike heavier and the ride less bearable, but it was the brake rubbing against the back tire that made pedalling WAY more work than it needed to be.
I tried adjusting it by hand before biking to an appointment this morning, but I found that once again, once I used the brakes that one pad just stayed there against the wheel. This actually caused a bit of a safety issue when I was crossing an intersection and wanted to coast to a halt on the other side, but with the stay-in-place brake I stopped quite abruptly and short of my destination, in the middle of the road, which caused me to lose my balance a bit. Luckily I wasn't going fast at all and managed to simply look clumsy in front of a long line of car traffic instead of actually falling (which is embarrassing in itself). Still, it was enough to assure me that the brake problem must be fixed before the next ride.
When I got home, I adjusted the back brake with an allan key and some guesswork about what screws attached to where and affected what. The result is that it appears that I've fixed the problem - huzzah! Ego thoroughly satisfied.
Now, back to the question of my dissertation . . . now that my data is collected and I've begun the analysis process, should I use narrative analysis or discourse analysis, or some combination thereof? Hmm, maybe I should check on those brakes again . . .
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Shopping Spree
UPDATE: After spending hours of labour and $200 accessorizing my bike, I took it out for a short spin yesterday, biking my daughter to daycare in her fancy-pants bike trailer. She hates the trailer - actually, she hates the HELMET, trying to pry it off her tiny head the whole time and screaming the whole way there. Being a self-conscious cyclist, I'm not a fan of having so much attention called to us, but she doesn't yet understand the importance of discretion. The good news is that everything fits properly - the fenders, bike rack, and panniers have the proper clearance so they're not rubbing against the tires or restricting the movement of my pedalling. The bad news is that the bike is noticeably heavier. Even when I took the trailer off to carry the bike up and down the front steps, I could tell it felt heavier than before. This is understandable, but for some reason my crazy little brain didn't expect that. In relation to the whole bike, I figured it wouldn't make much of a difference, but starting with a light bike to begin with, it appears that it did! So I'll have to see how noticeable the weight difference is over 8 km sans bike trailer when I start going to school with it next week.
Now for something completely different . . .
Ahhh, the inevitable back-to-school shopping! Normally this involves backpacks and pencil crayons and rulers, but for me, it was far more sinister - a whole wardrobe of business-casual clothes. I already find it difficult to find clothes that fit properly, are flattering, and in my price range, and added to that was my desire to find clothes (at least work pants) that I can bicycle to school in. So, perhaps more accurately, you could say I was looking for business-casual-cycling clothes.
I've always been impressed with my friend (the public school teacher)'s clothes, and every time I ask her where she got that sweater or those pair of pants, she always says Ricki's. I went to the one in the Kingsway Garden Mall and was helped out by Desiree, who was fun and helpful and awesome, and blew a huge wad of cash getting pants, blouses, tops, a vest, and even some accessories (I now have a fashion scarf, ladies and gentlemen - a fashion scarf - and I'm not even a gay man). I feel the need to state two things here: I don't care much for fashion, and I HATE shopping. So this whole shopping spree might sound like a great time to a lot of people, but it was a special kind of torture for me. I stood in front of full-length mirrors under unflattering fluorescent lights, noting that I should have washed my hair and worn makeup and for the love of God, what possessed me to wear that horizontal-striped t-shirt today?? I vowed in the dressing room to burn it immediately upon returning home.
The good news is that I was able to fit into clothes they stocked and not have to go to a specialty fatty store. I also found some fantastically flattering, well-fitting, and comfortable pants that I will be able to cycle in - though I may have to tuck the remarkably wide cuffs into my socks lest they get caught in the bike chain (and we all know how sexy that'll look). I just hope I'll remember to un-tuck them before I walk into the counselling centre every morning.
My worry is that I may have spent a lot of money on clothes that will no longer fit before the winter's out. If I do successfully lose weight over the coming months, it won't take long for these now-flattering clothes to look bulky, ill-fitted, and unflattering on me as I change shape. But what is a girl to do? I needed work clothes, and I need them now. Maybe I'll consider the investment worth it when I'll be able to hold up these pants as an example of how big I used to be, once I'm smaller. We'll see.
The point is, I'm getting closer and closer to the start of the internship, and getting more and more prepared to become a bike-commuter. I'm already excited and nervous about it all!
Now for something completely different . . .
Ahhh, the inevitable back-to-school shopping! Normally this involves backpacks and pencil crayons and rulers, but for me, it was far more sinister - a whole wardrobe of business-casual clothes. I already find it difficult to find clothes that fit properly, are flattering, and in my price range, and added to that was my desire to find clothes (at least work pants) that I can bicycle to school in. So, perhaps more accurately, you could say I was looking for business-casual-cycling clothes.
I've always been impressed with my friend (the public school teacher)'s clothes, and every time I ask her where she got that sweater or those pair of pants, she always says Ricki's. I went to the one in the Kingsway Garden Mall and was helped out by Desiree, who was fun and helpful and awesome, and blew a huge wad of cash getting pants, blouses, tops, a vest, and even some accessories (I now have a fashion scarf, ladies and gentlemen - a fashion scarf - and I'm not even a gay man). I feel the need to state two things here: I don't care much for fashion, and I HATE shopping. So this whole shopping spree might sound like a great time to a lot of people, but it was a special kind of torture for me. I stood in front of full-length mirrors under unflattering fluorescent lights, noting that I should have washed my hair and worn makeup and for the love of God, what possessed me to wear that horizontal-striped t-shirt today?? I vowed in the dressing room to burn it immediately upon returning home.
The good news is that I was able to fit into clothes they stocked and not have to go to a specialty fatty store. I also found some fantastically flattering, well-fitting, and comfortable pants that I will be able to cycle in - though I may have to tuck the remarkably wide cuffs into my socks lest they get caught in the bike chain (and we all know how sexy that'll look). I just hope I'll remember to un-tuck them before I walk into the counselling centre every morning.
My worry is that I may have spent a lot of money on clothes that will no longer fit before the winter's out. If I do successfully lose weight over the coming months, it won't take long for these now-flattering clothes to look bulky, ill-fitted, and unflattering on me as I change shape. But what is a girl to do? I needed work clothes, and I need them now. Maybe I'll consider the investment worth it when I'll be able to hold up these pants as an example of how big I used to be, once I'm smaller. We'll see.
The point is, I'm getting closer and closer to the start of the internship, and getting more and more prepared to become a bike-commuter. I'm already excited and nervous about it all!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Accessorizing
I had a free half-hour between finishing my work for the day and having to pick my daughter up from daycare, so I ventured over to the local bike shop, Revolution Cycle, just a few blocks away and did some accessorizing. I don't mean girlie-girl shopping for shoes and fashion scarves, I mean accessorizing my poor naked bike. Who I shall name Mike.
My poor naked Mike has had nothing but his birthday suit since the day I brought him home, and it was about time I finally got some of those things that'll make commuting easier on me. Here's a breakdown of what I bought:
All told, with tax, I spent just under $200 accessorizing. The good news is that I can use the bike rack and panniers to store my stuff so I won't get as much of that sweaty-backpack-back going on. It'll come in especially handy when I actually start work and will be hauling a change of clothes, lunch and snacks, water bottle and coffee mug, and whatever else back and forth every day. I'm also really excited about the fenders, because I've had the pleasure of riding in the rain twice already and it left . . . unpleasantness . . . up the back of my pants and all over my backpack. Good thing I wasn't going through a field of manure (luckily, we don't have too many of those in downtown Edmonton).
I still have to accessorize further once the colder weather hits - I'll need good gloves, probably some waterproof pants to wear over my work pants, front and back lights for the bike, and I'll probably invest in some studded tires, too. Then I'll get to deal with the fun-times awesomeness of changing bike tires. The skinny ones, at that. Sigh!
The easy part was buying the stuff, especially with help from the good employees at Revolution Cycle. The hard part was putting it together. It wasn't physically difficult, it was that I had no idea what it all was supposed to look like, and whatever instructions I had (just for the fenders, nothing else had instructions) didn't include pictures of the whole bike. So I was running back and forth between the front porch, where Mike lives, and my living room, where my computer is, constantly looking up pictures of what fenders and bike racks look like properly installed and trying to recreate that on Mike. It took me two hours to do everything, and by the end my hands were very greasy - somewhere between chips and KFC kind of greasy (though I suspect that dipping one's hands in a large vat of oil will still result in slightly less greasy hands than after eating KFC).
My camera is broken so I can't take a picture of Mike, now that he's all dolled up and rarin' to go. As soon as I've got a picture, though, I'll be sure to post it here! Now I can't wait to try him out tomorrow . . . yeeee-hawwwww!
UPDATE: A helpful person at BikeWorks suggested I check out Mountain Equipment Co-op next time I need to buy something for the bike, as it's less expensive there. Also, in lieu of a photograph, here's some video of Mike accessorized.
My poor naked Mike has had nothing but his birthday suit since the day I brought him home, and it was about time I finally got some of those things that'll make commuting easier on me. Here's a breakdown of what I bought:
Something to raise my handlebars = $25
A bell (it's the law in Edmonton) = $6
A set of front-and-back fenders = $50
A bike rack = $25
A pair of panniers = $80
A bell (it's the law in Edmonton) = $6
A set of front-and-back fenders = $50
A bike rack = $25
A pair of panniers = $80
All told, with tax, I spent just under $200 accessorizing. The good news is that I can use the bike rack and panniers to store my stuff so I won't get as much of that sweaty-backpack-back going on. It'll come in especially handy when I actually start work and will be hauling a change of clothes, lunch and snacks, water bottle and coffee mug, and whatever else back and forth every day. I'm also really excited about the fenders, because I've had the pleasure of riding in the rain twice already and it left . . . unpleasantness . . . up the back of my pants and all over my backpack. Good thing I wasn't going through a field of manure (luckily, we don't have too many of those in downtown Edmonton).
I still have to accessorize further once the colder weather hits - I'll need good gloves, probably some waterproof pants to wear over my work pants, front and back lights for the bike, and I'll probably invest in some studded tires, too. Then I'll get to deal with the fun-times awesomeness of changing bike tires. The skinny ones, at that. Sigh!
The easy part was buying the stuff, especially with help from the good employees at Revolution Cycle. The hard part was putting it together. It wasn't physically difficult, it was that I had no idea what it all was supposed to look like, and whatever instructions I had (just for the fenders, nothing else had instructions) didn't include pictures of the whole bike. So I was running back and forth between the front porch, where Mike lives, and my living room, where my computer is, constantly looking up pictures of what fenders and bike racks look like properly installed and trying to recreate that on Mike. It took me two hours to do everything, and by the end my hands were very greasy - somewhere between chips and KFC kind of greasy (though I suspect that dipping one's hands in a large vat of oil will still result in slightly less greasy hands than after eating KFC).
My camera is broken so I can't take a picture of Mike, now that he's all dolled up and rarin' to go. As soon as I've got a picture, though, I'll be sure to post it here! Now I can't wait to try him out tomorrow . . . yeeee-hawwwww!
UPDATE: A helpful person at BikeWorks suggested I check out Mountain Equipment Co-op next time I need to buy something for the bike, as it's less expensive there. Also, in lieu of a photograph, here's some video of Mike accessorized.
Monday, August 24, 2009
What I'll Miss About Being Obese
Oh, the things to think about before embarking on a life-altering journey! Any change, even the positive kind, comes with the baggage of having to let go of something else. People who want to get married and finally do still have to deal with the fact that they have to let go of the freedom of their single life, people who are promoted sometimes have to deal with losing their old co-workers and friends, and people embarking on a massive weight loss (like me!) have to let go of those untold good parts of being obese (borderline morbid obese, even, as I just discovered I could hit that fantastic category if I was only 0.5 higher on the Body Mass Index).
The typical story is that overweight people are perpetually unhappy and their lives suck and only when they lose weight do they find happiness, love, and the hidden potential of their formerly useless lives (unless you're Santa, in which case you're jolly and have a loving wife and generally make the world a better place - but, really, do we want to be telling our kids they can be fat AND happy??). As much as I hate to admit that I have bought into that overweight=unhappy myth - and to an extent I have - I have also been living proof that it's not true. I've been remarkably successful with my academic ambitions, I've had several long-term and serious romantic relationships, I'm a generally very fun, happy, and optimistic person, and I've even managed to get myself knocked up - which must mean that men are willing to sleep with me!
I suspect that the only significant thing that will really change when I lose weight is how I feel about myself - my self-confidence and self-esteem will increase, I'll feel more comfortable in my own skin, and I'll look in the mirror and think, "hello, you!", instead of "JESUS! That's ME???" That's a huge reason why I want to lose weight - to feel like I can truly be myself again. I can't say that being overweight has been all bad, though, and in fact there are some serious benefits to it that I'm truly going to miss!
1. HAVING A DIRTY SENSE OF HUMOUR WITHOUT MALE FRIENDS FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME. I have a very dirty sense of humour which I come by honestly (thanks, family!). Throughout high school and through my graduate years, I've been able to tell dirty jokes, make myself and my friends laugh, and then we all clink our beers and take a chug and go on with it. For that brief period in undergrad when I was close to my ideal weight, though, I learned that I had to curtail my sense of humour because male friends would assume my sexual innuendo was me flirting with them and they would fall in love with me. This would always end badly, and I lost a number of good friends that way. The more overweight I am, the more one-of-the-guys I become with my male friends, and having grown up with three brothers, I like being just one of the guys! I can be my vulgar self without fear of someone wanting to propose marriage to me! I can share that "brother-sister" kind of relationship with my friends and not have it get all weird and pervy! When I lose weight, though - it's all over. Back to censoring myself and having a more subtle sense of humour. CURSES!
2. BEING ABLE TO GO OUT TO A CLUB WITHOUT GETTING MOLESTED BY CREEPERS. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of larger ladies who get their fair share of unwated touching out on the dance floor, but in my experience, ever since putting weight back on I have been able to go out to dance clubs and not feel like I'm being eaten alive by creepy men and their creepy dead eyes and their cold, clammy, creepy hands. Back in the day, most of the time I'd go out dancing with my friends nothing would happen, but once in a while I'd be the recipient of a little ass-slap, or an "accidental" breast touch, or - best of all - the remarkably cheeky hand-up-the-back-of-the-skirt-palm-full-of-ass-grab (I can only assume the man was curious to see whether I was wearing thongs, and whether I was old enough to have pubic hair). Now, I know I can only speak for myself here, but believe it or not, gentlemen, I REALLY don't appreciate people touching me without my permission. I don't want you to come up behind me on the dance floor and start rubbing yourself against me, pretending to dance but really just trying to get in a little dry hump action. Seriously. Control yourselves. I like that since I put on weight, I haven't gotten any of that. It's nice to finally have my personal space respected! When I lose weight again, I will definitely miss that.
3. GETTING TO WEAR BAGGY T-SHIRTS AND STRETCHY YOGA PANTS ALL THE TIME. Oh man, I love me some comfort, and nothing says comfort like hanging out in baggy old t-shirts and stretchy yoga pants that I wore for most of my pregnancy. When I was thinner, I felt compelled to show off my sexy curves with fitted shirts, hip-hugging jeans, cute vintage skirts and cleavage-hawking dresses, and other less comfortable clothes. Now, I lounge around in stretchy pants and baggy t's whether I'm biking to school, going to the mall, or watching a movie on my couch. No, wait, not the movie thing - I'm usually in pyjamas for that, because sometimes even stretchy yoga pants are too restrictive. When I lose weight again, I will undoubtedly want to show off the body that I worked so hard for, but I will indeed miss my days of spending morning, noon, and night in comfortable loungy clothes.
4. PEOPLE TAKE ME MORE SERIOUSLY. It's a brutal catch-22 we're in, us ladies. We are sold the idea that nothing is more important than our looks, and that if we REALLY want to get the world's attention, we have to be good-looking first, then intelligent and ambitious and whatever else second (just look at the public ridicule heaped upon successful, unattractive women to get the idea). If we do end up being that elusive full-package deal, it is usually the beauty that gets all the attention and the rest of our lofty ambitions are shrugged off as distractions from what's really important - how we look in a bikini! Ever since putting on weight, I notice people react differently to me. They listen more intently when I talk about my work, approach me as a colleague, and get down to business more quickly. When I was thinner, even in professional settings I would be approached more as a "girl" than a "colleague", people would be less interested in my work and more interested in whether I had a boyfriend, and I generally felt a much greater need to prove myself to people that I am, indeed, an intelligent, hard-working, and ambitious woman. It's nice to feel like people respect me more as a professional right off the bat now, though I do find it sad that it has to be that way. Anyway, I'm going to miss that. I'm going to miss knowing that the attention I'm getting is for the work I'm doing, and not that interest in my work is an excuse to talk me up.
Now, I must clarify - I was never a model, nor could I ever have been. I'm definitely not among the most beautiful people in the world, regardless of my weight! I probably would have described myself as "cute" or even ventured into "pretty" when I was at my fittest, but even then I never would have described myself as "beautiful". Whatever unwanted attention I got when I was thinner was based on being less-than-gorgeous, which sure makes me feel great sympathy for those women who are truly gorgeous and feel they have more to offer than just their looks.
Anyway, needless to say, all change involves some sacrifice. Perhaps I'll have to start working harder so I can prove myself to people, wearing iron underwear when I go out dancing, and wearing less comfortable clothes once I've lost some weight. But then again, it'll all be worth it: setting a good example for my daughter, that's priceless.
The typical story is that overweight people are perpetually unhappy and their lives suck and only when they lose weight do they find happiness, love, and the hidden potential of their formerly useless lives (unless you're Santa, in which case you're jolly and have a loving wife and generally make the world a better place - but, really, do we want to be telling our kids they can be fat AND happy??). As much as I hate to admit that I have bought into that overweight=unhappy myth - and to an extent I have - I have also been living proof that it's not true. I've been remarkably successful with my academic ambitions, I've had several long-term and serious romantic relationships, I'm a generally very fun, happy, and optimistic person, and I've even managed to get myself knocked up - which must mean that men are willing to sleep with me!
I suspect that the only significant thing that will really change when I lose weight is how I feel about myself - my self-confidence and self-esteem will increase, I'll feel more comfortable in my own skin, and I'll look in the mirror and think, "hello, you!", instead of "JESUS! That's ME???" That's a huge reason why I want to lose weight - to feel like I can truly be myself again. I can't say that being overweight has been all bad, though, and in fact there are some serious benefits to it that I'm truly going to miss!
1. HAVING A DIRTY SENSE OF HUMOUR WITHOUT MALE FRIENDS FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME. I have a very dirty sense of humour which I come by honestly (thanks, family!). Throughout high school and through my graduate years, I've been able to tell dirty jokes, make myself and my friends laugh, and then we all clink our beers and take a chug and go on with it. For that brief period in undergrad when I was close to my ideal weight, though, I learned that I had to curtail my sense of humour because male friends would assume my sexual innuendo was me flirting with them and they would fall in love with me. This would always end badly, and I lost a number of good friends that way. The more overweight I am, the more one-of-the-guys I become with my male friends, and having grown up with three brothers, I like being just one of the guys! I can be my vulgar self without fear of someone wanting to propose marriage to me! I can share that "brother-sister" kind of relationship with my friends and not have it get all weird and pervy! When I lose weight, though - it's all over. Back to censoring myself and having a more subtle sense of humour. CURSES!
2. BEING ABLE TO GO OUT TO A CLUB WITHOUT GETTING MOLESTED BY CREEPERS. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of larger ladies who get their fair share of unwated touching out on the dance floor, but in my experience, ever since putting weight back on I have been able to go out to dance clubs and not feel like I'm being eaten alive by creepy men and their creepy dead eyes and their cold, clammy, creepy hands. Back in the day, most of the time I'd go out dancing with my friends nothing would happen, but once in a while I'd be the recipient of a little ass-slap, or an "accidental" breast touch, or - best of all - the remarkably cheeky hand-up-the-back-of-the-skirt-palm-full-of-ass-grab (I can only assume the man was curious to see whether I was wearing thongs, and whether I was old enough to have pubic hair). Now, I know I can only speak for myself here, but believe it or not, gentlemen, I REALLY don't appreciate people touching me without my permission. I don't want you to come up behind me on the dance floor and start rubbing yourself against me, pretending to dance but really just trying to get in a little dry hump action. Seriously. Control yourselves. I like that since I put on weight, I haven't gotten any of that. It's nice to finally have my personal space respected! When I lose weight again, I will definitely miss that.
3. GETTING TO WEAR BAGGY T-SHIRTS AND STRETCHY YOGA PANTS ALL THE TIME. Oh man, I love me some comfort, and nothing says comfort like hanging out in baggy old t-shirts and stretchy yoga pants that I wore for most of my pregnancy. When I was thinner, I felt compelled to show off my sexy curves with fitted shirts, hip-hugging jeans, cute vintage skirts and cleavage-hawking dresses, and other less comfortable clothes. Now, I lounge around in stretchy pants and baggy t's whether I'm biking to school, going to the mall, or watching a movie on my couch. No, wait, not the movie thing - I'm usually in pyjamas for that, because sometimes even stretchy yoga pants are too restrictive. When I lose weight again, I will undoubtedly want to show off the body that I worked so hard for, but I will indeed miss my days of spending morning, noon, and night in comfortable loungy clothes.
4. PEOPLE TAKE ME MORE SERIOUSLY. It's a brutal catch-22 we're in, us ladies. We are sold the idea that nothing is more important than our looks, and that if we REALLY want to get the world's attention, we have to be good-looking first, then intelligent and ambitious and whatever else second (just look at the public ridicule heaped upon successful, unattractive women to get the idea). If we do end up being that elusive full-package deal, it is usually the beauty that gets all the attention and the rest of our lofty ambitions are shrugged off as distractions from what's really important - how we look in a bikini! Ever since putting on weight, I notice people react differently to me. They listen more intently when I talk about my work, approach me as a colleague, and get down to business more quickly. When I was thinner, even in professional settings I would be approached more as a "girl" than a "colleague", people would be less interested in my work and more interested in whether I had a boyfriend, and I generally felt a much greater need to prove myself to people that I am, indeed, an intelligent, hard-working, and ambitious woman. It's nice to feel like people respect me more as a professional right off the bat now, though I do find it sad that it has to be that way. Anyway, I'm going to miss that. I'm going to miss knowing that the attention I'm getting is for the work I'm doing, and not that interest in my work is an excuse to talk me up.
Now, I must clarify - I was never a model, nor could I ever have been. I'm definitely not among the most beautiful people in the world, regardless of my weight! I probably would have described myself as "cute" or even ventured into "pretty" when I was at my fittest, but even then I never would have described myself as "beautiful". Whatever unwanted attention I got when I was thinner was based on being less-than-gorgeous, which sure makes me feel great sympathy for those women who are truly gorgeous and feel they have more to offer than just their looks.
Anyway, needless to say, all change involves some sacrifice. Perhaps I'll have to start working harder so I can prove myself to people, wearing iron underwear when I go out dancing, and wearing less comfortable clothes once I've lost some weight. But then again, it'll all be worth it: setting a good example for my daughter, that's priceless.
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