Week Twenty-Five - Day Four: Low Energy, Low Mood

BIKE: Mike
TIME THERE: 27 min.
TIME BACK: 28 min.
WEATHER: clear, -10C, 7 km/hr wind there; clear, -3C (-7C with windchill), 11 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: warm-up pants, turtleneck, waterproof shell, running gloves, balaclava
NOTES:

Maybe it's the time of year. Maybe it's a hormonal thing. Maybe I'm not eating as much as I should, given how much I exercise on a typical weekday. Maybe it's just that my life is fucking exhausting. Or maybe it's all of the above. Whatever the contributing factors, the result is the same: I'm tired, and I'm feeling down.

Last night my daughter was up at 3:00 am. Although she went back to bed without my intervention, she was on-and-off up for the rest of the night, which meant that I didn't really get much meaningful sleep after 3:00 am. And my ride to work today felt okay, but the ride home was really tiring. My thigh muscles were slightly achey and burny from the moment I mounted my bike, and they didn't get any better as I made my way home. I felt like I was fighting the wind both ways, even though I wasn't (I was biking into the wind on the way home only, and even then the wind was pretty mild).

My daughter throws a tantrum over everything - EVERYTHING - and most of the time I have the patience to deal with it appropriately. Now, though, my tolerance for that kind of behaviour is virtually gone. So when I took her grocery shopping this evening after work and she threw a tantrum as I put her in the car, then again as I took her out, then again when I prevented her from running away from me in the parking lot, then again when I tried putting her in the grocery cart, then again . . . well, it was pretty well a constant tantrum, including the whole time I was making dinner and trying to eat it after getting the groceries. By the time I put her to bed tonight I just wanted to cry, and maybe I would have if I had the energy. But I just don't have it in me to do even that.

GAH! And my fucking cat's breath is HEINOUS! He's sitting at my feet as I'm typing and the odor emanating from his mouth is ghastly. I can smell it all the way up here! What the hell??

I think I'm going to try going to bed at 9:00 tonight. Maybe if I can just get one really good night's rest, everything will be bright and cheery again in the morning . . . or maybe I just need a fucking vacation from my LIFE!