Week Twenty-Six - Day Four: Thanks, Brain!

BIKE: Mike
TIME THERE: 27 min.
TIME BACK: 27 min.
WEATHER: A few clouds, -5C, 6 km/hr wind there; clear, 5C, 6 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: warm-up pants, t-shirt, fleece jacket, double gloves (just running gloves on the way home), balaclava (not on the way home)
NOTES:

If you've been following along with this blog over the past little while, you may have noticed that I've been feeling down lately. I don't know exactly what's causing it, I just know that as much as I'm still instigating impromptu dance parties in the halls at work and offending people with my heinous sense of humour, I haven't been quite as happy as usual.

Now, I believe that the little things that get stuck in our heads or the random memories that pop up out of nowhere aren't meaningless. I think they can provide insight or give us something of what we need in times of challenge or difficulty. So when I couldn't get the theme song from The United States of Tara out of my head for the past two days straight, it dawned on me that this is something to pay attention to.

The lyrics are:
Open up the sky
This mess is getting high
It's windy and our family needs a ride
I know we'll be just fine when we learn to love the ride
I know we'll be just fine when we learn to love the ride
I know we'll be just fine when we learn to love the ride

Then, earlier today, after dropping off my bike after the ride home and starting my walk over to pick up my daughter from daycare, I got a flash of a memory I hadn't thought of in a while. It was right after my graduation ceremony for my undergraduate degree, which happened six years ago. I was all dressed up and feeling proud of myself, walking with my family through the university's parking lot towards the car. My Dad was walking in front of the rest of us with my just-framed Bachelor of Fine Arts degree held high in the air above his head with a big smile on his face. Cars honked at him as they passed and someone yelled out, "Congratulations!" to him, and he replied, "It's my daughter's!" He was beaming with pride. I thought he was ridiculous, and wonderful. I felt so loved and appreciated in that moment.

What a random thing to remember out of nowhere. But I think it came up for a reason. Partly, because it's my Dad's birthday today and I might have forgotten if not for that memory (sorry, Dad!!). Also, because I've been feeling kind of hopeless about losing weight - it never comes off as fast or as easily as I wish it would, and this can lead to feeling discouraged. Perhaps some part of me wanted to remind me that the people who love me don't love me for my weight - they love me and are proud of me because of who I am. Even if I stay this weight forever and never drop another pound, I know I am still a lovable person, and my family will always be there for me.

And, really, I just need to learn to love the ride. The weight will go - sometimes painfully slow, sometimes wonderfully fast - just as long as I stick with the biking and trying to eat reasonably. Of course I'm going to want to be at my goal RIGHT NOW, but what can I say? It took years for me to put on this much weight - the least I can do is give it at least a year to work off. And just relax, because I know I'll be just fine . . . if I learn to love the ride.