A Weird Week

After making homemade hot cocoa with dinner, and spending the evening in cozy pajamas under a fleece blanket while reading, I would have thought that sleep would come easy to me on Monday night. Alas, I had a bit of trouble falling asleep and didn't drift into slumber until sometime after 11:00 pm. By 1:00 am, I was awakened by cranky whining sounds emanating from my daughter's room across the hall. These little sounds came in fits and bursts, and when I would call out to her to see what was the matter, she would stop. Or she would ask for milk, which I would deny her because of her pesky habit of taking the lids off her sippy cups and spilling milk all over her crib. Or she would make some other kind of request that would similarly be shut down. This continued on an off for a couple hours, and between each bout of sadness I remained awake and listening for the next one.

"Moooommmmmy," I heard her wail. "Moooommmy, I'm all wet!" My gritty-with-exhaustion eyes turned groggily to my clock - it was 3:30 am, and I'd barely slept all night. I just wanted to ignore her and try to fall back asleep. "Moooommmmmy, there's pee in there!" Ughhh. I forced myself out of bed to confront the pee-soaked scene.

My daughter keeps doing this - pulling her pajamas off, pulling her diaper off, and peeing in her bed, then spending the rest of the night grieving the loss of her beloved (pee-soaked) blankie which I am forced to throw into the laundry. Because of this fiasco, I didn't sleep a wink for the rest of the night. Tuesday was a write-off. Even when I tried to drop my daughter off at daycare in the morning, I was called back 20 minutes later to pick her up because she was so exhausted and cranky that the daycare couldn't handle her. We spent the day at home, and I went through the day in a zombie fog from lack of sleep. And yet, strangely, I wasn't able to nap at any point.

The whole rest of my week was thrown off by this. Tuesday, typically a work day, was spent at home, so I didn't bike. Wednesday I met a friend for lunch then went into work for the afternoon where I sat barely functioning in front of my computer trying to look like I was being productive when I couldn't possibly have been. I didn't bike that day either. Thursday I took my daughter and myself for travel vaccines then stayed home for the rest of the day while we recovered (she had a slight fever). Once again, I didn't bike. And now it's Friday, and it's only my second full day at work all week, and I'm still feeling groggy and sleep-deprived (though certainly improved from Tuesday!). Using my sore vaccinated arm as an excuse, I didn't bike today either.

Wow. What a crappy week! I only biked once. I've been functioning at the cognitive level of the undead since Tuesday. And now things are starting to pick up - I have projects to complete at work, and a dissertation deadline looming in the next week - and this whole week has basically felt like a write-off. Sigh!

I know these kinds of weeks happen . . . to other people . . . Oh, okay, FINE! They happen to me too. And it's okay. Still, it's hard to feel good when I'm feeling this tired and unproductive. Huh. No wonder I hated my mat leave so much!

A Hot Cocoa Kind of Day

WEATHER THERE: rain, 3C, 9 km/hr crosswinds

WEATHER BACK: drizzle, 6C, 21 km/hr crosswinds

I rode to work in the rain, splashing my way through deep puddles and getting myself soaking wet. My feet were cold all day as my wet socks remained damp and frigid in my work shoes. I wore my ugly black water-resistant shell and my double-layered warm-up pants that are the most water-resistant pants I own, and my hands were protected by thin, tight running gloves layered underneath a pair of extra large cycling gloves, and despite all this I still arrived at work damp and cold and tired.

It was hard to be at work today. I got some important things done but I wasn't particularly productive, and I felt uncomfortable and cold and tired all day long. A dark grey sky forced me to rely on the buzzing fluorescent lights above to help me see - no natural light to work by today. Counting the hours, the minutes, the moments as they passed. Dreading the cold, wet ride home almost as much as I was looking forward to leaving.

Tonight, I'm making some damn hot cocoa after dinner. It's been a hot cocoa kind of day.