Week Fifteen - Day One

All day yesterday, a debate raged within the confines of my brain: should I bike tomorrow, or should I not? Has the snow been cleared enough that it's not too much of a danger? And if I do go, which bike do I use? Eastwood is better on snow, Mike is better on ice, and the roads out there are currently sporting a bunch of snow over a thick layer of ice. Hmm.

I went to bed last night determined to ride to work, and also determined to take Eastwood so I can plow over and through the piles of snow without fear of getting stuck. It's settled, I'm doing it!

And then I had a terrible night. My daughter was up several times, just about every hour, and from about 9:00 pm last night I've been feeling some pretty un-fun stomach pains. Through the night and into today, I've been hit by waves of nausea and I feel as though something is burrowing a hole from my stomach through my intestines. I know, it sounds cool, but it actually isn't very pleasant.

I woke up this morning exhausted and still feeling unwell. There is no way I'm biking today! Hell, I don't even want to go in to work - I just want to curl up in a blankie and sleep all day. But I'm so short of hours after staying home with my daughter when she had the flu that it's just not an option to stay home. So I drove to work, having to rock myself out of large piles of snow TWICE. Driving in this weather really isn't much more pleasant than biking might be!

I haven't eaten anything all day, and now that it's lunch I'm trying a cup of chicken noodle soup to see if I can stomach it. It actually feels very good. Perhaps when I get home, I'll make some soup for dinner (I think all I've got is onion soup mix, but it's better for a sore tummy than leftover sausauge - *puke*). I've had two clients this morning plus an intake client, and I've been steadily fading all morning. I have no idea how I'm supposed to get through another three hours of clients this afternoon. During the last session of the morning, I actually had to pause for a moment and make a snap decision whether I should vomit in the waste basket or see if I can make it to the bathroom in time just in case that particular wave of nausea got to that point.

I can hardly keep my eyes open. My stomach hurts. I don't want to see any more clients or write case notes or take care of my daughter when I get home tonight. I just want to curl up in a fetal position and sleep, waiting for whatever's got a grip on me to let go. But alas, responsibilities - those crazy bastards - they just won't let me be, even when I'm sick and I wish everything could be put on hold just for a few hours until I feel better.

But I guess I just have to keep on keepin' on.