Week Twenty-One - Day One: Shits n' Giggles

BIKE: Mike
TIME THERE: 29 min.
TIME BACK: 26 min. (woot!)
WEATHER: clear, -8C, 7 km/hr wind there; clear, -4C, 7 km/hr wind back.
WHAT I WORE: warm-up pants, t-shirt, waterproof shell, running gloves, scarf
NOTES:

I'm trying to think of dirty (and by that I mean hilarious) references for bicycles. I've come up with a few, but I'd love to hear your ideas if you have any!! In the meantime, here's mine:

1. Can you please help me lube my chain?
2. I had a pretty rough ride last night and now my taint hurts.
3. Watch me work this crankshaft!
4. I put too much pressure on my stem and it broke.
5. Everyone saddle up for a group ride!
6. How's my rack looking?
7. These new headlights will really draw attention.
8. I traded up my slicks for studs, now nothing's gonna stop me.
9. Watch out for rough rides, they'll ruin your rim.
10. Beware! Big holes will make your tube pop before your ride is even over.

Ummm, and I think that's all I've got. And now I need to shower after thinking of all this filth.